And that’s how I ended up realizing that I have an addiction to Rubilax. In real life, I bought a plastic 3D-printed polar bear skull, and I hug it, stroke it, and sometimes kiss it. I genuinely started to believe that Rubilax is real and could come to me if I wanted it badly enough. I know there are many facts proving that he isn’t real: at the very least because Rubilax is my boyfriend’s character, invented by him, and I literally see him typing RP messages in chat from his perspective. But on a psychological level, I deny these facts as evidence. I sincerely believe that there’s at least a chance he could come to me in reality.Knowing Rubilax, he would probably kill me pretty quickly in real life. Or maybe not? He might be curious about how I know him so well. Maybe he would keep me alive, and then sleep with me, and it would hurt, but it would be cool. But anyway, going back to the beginning of the text — all of this is very sad and bad. I’m dependent on him, even though he isn’t real. I constantly cry, trying to summon him into reality, promising that I’ll be a good girl and all that. I beg him to come, to show himself even for a second, to prove that he’s real. I often worry that I’m not good enough, and that he doesn’t come simply because he considers me unworthy… It’s sad.